Building a healthy self identity

Who are you becoming?

Hey friend,

We have all at one point in life signed up for a gym membership, bought books to read, started a diet. How long were you able to hold on to the diet, show up at the gym consistently, read half of the books you intended to read? I have had to cancel a membership at the gym and that cost me money. Ouch! Change is hard!

We get really inspired and start doing things better, we find it tough to actually stick to new behaviours. Why?

According to James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, there are three layers of behaviour change: a change in your outcomes, a change in your processes, or a change in your identity. In most cases we want to change our outcomes i.e. I would like to lose 15kgs, I would like to read 2 books in a month. The question is once you have lost the 15kgs what then? We find ourselves packing back those kilograms and more or we just burn out and stop completely with the new behaviour. However, when we change our identity - we are changing our beliefs.

Beliefs are your worldview, your self-image, your judgements about yourself and others. We identify ourselves with the opposite of what we want. For example, someone would say I am never on time, I am not a reader, I am not a runner. I am not a morning person. All these are just beliefs that you have about yourself. All it takes is you making a decision of whom you want to be and proving it to yourself. Then celebrate the small wins. (I am a big believer of celebrating small wins - factoring in JOY in everything you’re doing) I remember when I decided to be a runner - I ran 5km and proved to myself by finishing it, I celebrated it and that kept me going.

As you set your goals this year, I dare you to ask yourself this question, “Who is the type of person that could get the outcome I want?” An ideal example would be; What would a healthy person do? Would they order chips or a salad? Would they use the staircase or an elevator? And start building your habits based on those answers. You cannot rely only on motivation and inspiration. You have to become the type of person you want to be, and that starts with proving your new identity to yourself.

Let’s get better together this year!

With love,

Sihle